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Once you've made it to the box office and gotten your tickets, you are confronted with the problems of the theater itself. If you are in one of the run-down older theaters, you must adjust to the musty smell of the seldom-cleaned carpets. Escaped springs lurk in the faded plush or cracked leather sears, and half the seats you sit in seem loose or tilted so that you sit at a strange angle. The newer theaters have their own problems. Sitting in an rea only one-quarter the size of a regular theater, moviegoers often have to put up with the sound of the movie next door. This is especially jarring when the movie is very loud and you are trying to enjoy a quiet love story.

Some patrons are even more of a problem than the theater itself. Little kids race up and down the aisles, usually giggling in packs. Teenagers try to impress their friends by talking back to the screen, whistling, and making what they consider to be hilarious noises. Adults act as if they are home in their own living rooms and comment loudly on the ages of the stars or why movies aren't as good anymore. And people of all ages crinkle candy wrappers, stick gum on their seats, and drop popcorn tubs or cups of crushed ice on the floor. They also cough and burp, squirm endlessly in their seats and cross in front of you repeatedly as they get up to go to the restroom or concession.

After arriving home from the movies one night, I decided that I was not going to be a moviegoer anymore. I was tired of the problems involved in getting to the movies and dealing with the theater itself and some of the patrons. The next day I arranged to have cable TV service installed in my home. I may now see movies a bit later than other people, but I'll be more relaxed watching box office hits in the comfort of my own living room.

I am a movie fanatic. When friends when friends want to know what picture won the Oscar in 1980 or who played the police chief in Jaws, they ask me. My friends, though, have stopped asking me if I want to go out to the movies. I have decided that the idea of going to the movie theater is overrated, so I've quit going. The problems in getting to the theater, the theater itself, and the behavior of some patrons are all reasons why I often wait for the movie to show up on TV.

First of all, just getting to the theater presents difficulties. Leaving a home equipped with a TV and a video recorder isn't an attractive idea on a humid, cold, or rainy night. Even if the weather cooperates, there is still a thirty-minute drive to the theater down a congested highway, followed by the hassle of looking for a parking space. And then there are the lines. After hooking yourself to the end of a human chain, you worry about whether there will be enough tickets. whether you will get seats together, and whether many people will sneak into the line ahead of you.