Handling Criticism

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How to Deal Assertively with Criticism

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Ellen Reilly

United States

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Handling Criticism


Handling CriticismOnline version How to Deal Assertively with Criticism by Ellen Reilly 1 All of us have been criticized at some point in our lives. Yes No 2 To accept criticism maturely we need to be able to accept feedback in the form of analysis, observation or interpretation from other people about our behavior. Yes No 3 There are two types of criticism, constructive and deconstructive. An example of constructive criticism is, "“Your room is very messy. You are very disorganized” Yes No 4 There is only one way people respond to criticism, shutting down. Yes No 5 How do YOU respond to criticism? Yes No 6 You are your behavior. Yes No 7 If I am criticized it means I am stupid. Yes No 8 I can’t criticize someone because then they won’t like me. Yes No 9 Can you identify any other unhelpful thoughts that may stop you from responding to criticism assertively? Yes No 10 If there is something wrong with what I’ve done it doesn’t mean anything about me as a person. I need to separate the behavior from me. Yes No 11 Giving direct feedback can be loving and helpful. Yes No 12 If the criticism is valid then just accept it without expressing guilt or other negative emotions Yes No 13 All criticism is valid. Yes No 14 The negative assertion technique looks like the example below: Criticism: “Your desk is very messy. You are very disorganized”. Response: “Yes, it’s true, I’m not very tidy” Yes No 15 If someone criticizes you, but you are not sure if the criticism is valid or constructive you ask for more details. Yes No 16 We are all going to encounter destructive criticism at some point in our lives Yes No 17 One technique for dealing with destructive criticism is simply to disagree with it. Keep your voice calm, your eye contact good. Yes No 18 Can you think of a response disagreeing with this criticism? Criticism: “You’re always late”. Yes No 19 The tendency for most people when presented with destructive criticism is either to be passive and crumble or be aggressive and fight back. Are these are good solutions? Yes No 20 The Fogging, Clouding, and Defusing techniques find some way of agreeing with a part of the criticism. You remove the criticisms destructive power by staying calm. Yes No 21 Agree with part of the criticism... Yes No 22 Agreeing in probability means you can still say something may be possible even though you really think the chances are likely to be a million to one. So you agree in probability. Yes No

Handling Criticism

Yes or No

About this activity

Created by

Download the paper version to play

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Handling CriticismOnline version

by Ellen Reilly

All of us have been criticized at some point in our lives.

To accept criticism maturely we need to be able to accept feedback in the form of analysis, observation or interpretation from other people about our behavior.

There are two types of criticism, constructive and deconstructive. An example of constructive criticism is, "“Your room is very messy. You are very disorganized”

There is only one way people respond to criticism, shutting down.

How do YOU respond to criticism?

You are your behavior.

If I am criticized it means I am stupid.

I can’t criticize someone because then they won’t like me.

Can you identify any other unhelpful thoughts that may stop you from responding to criticism assertively?

If there is something wrong with what I’ve done it doesn’t mean anything about me as a person. I need to separate the behavior from me.

Giving direct feedback can be loving and helpful.

If the criticism is valid then just accept it without expressing guilt or other negative emotions

All criticism is valid.

The negative assertion technique looks like the example below: Criticism: “Your desk is very messy. You are very disorganized”. Response: “Yes, it’s true, I’m not very tidy”

If someone criticizes you, but you are not sure if the criticism is valid or constructive you ask for more details.

We are all going to encounter destructive criticism at some point in our lives

One technique for dealing with destructive criticism is simply to disagree with it. Keep your voice calm, your eye contact good.

Can you think of a response disagreeing with this criticism? Criticism: “You’re always late”.

The tendency for most people when presented with destructive criticism is either to be passive and crumble or be aggressive and fight back. Are these are good solutions?

The Fogging, Clouding, and Defusing techniques find some way of agreeing with a part of the criticism. You remove the criticisms destructive power by staying calm.

Agree with part of the criticism...

Agreeing in probability means you can still say something may be possible even though you really think the chances are likely to be a million to one. So you agree in probability.